this evening, in an act of rebellion, i logged into the online countdown timer to check if my stay in brussels is over or not.
it isnt. but guess what the number of days was. 28. 28 days. like the sandra bullock movie 28 days. i tried to find a funny or interesting clip from the sandra bullock movie 28 days to post here. all were slightly inappropriate or pointless. kind of like the entire movie.
if people can go to rehab for 28 days i can stay in brussels for 28 days. but i think the food is better in rehab. dont ask me how i know that i just do.
jello and waffle just had a showdown in my head and jello kicked waffle's trash. you know why? jello is resilient. every time waffle threw a punch jello just bounced back. so go jello.
i sound homesick. because i am. but not as bad as i sound. brussels is... whoa i almost said brussels is cool but thats false. cool is not the right word. brussels is... umm... so weird. i thought i was weird until i came here.
you know what is cool is london. they speak english there. the signs are even in english. food labels are in english. its absolutely revolutionary, as in radically new or different.
one thing london does not have going for it is the pound. 1 pound cost me 1 dollar and 76 cents. and then my shirt was 30 pounds, which is 52 dollars and 80 cents, which is kind of an expensive shirt. and i bought it anyway because it says love on it three times. and it is charcoal. which is probably my favorite color right now next to neptune green. which is why i also spent 18 pounds on the neptune green version. whoopsie daisy. they say that in london, you know. hugh told me.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
lovepeaceaerosol
despite the fact that my european evenings are typically too full of european adventures to find the time to write, TWO blog-worthy things happened today so i had no choice.
1 i waterproofed my hair. not exactly a high point for me. i recently made two purchases, aerosol waterproofing spray and aerosol hairspray. in a moment of high intelligence, i placed them next to each other on my vanity. behind my ikea mirror, where i couldn't see them. in another moment of high intelligence, i reached my hand back to grab the hairspray. and then, in moment number three, i sprayed my whole head with waterproofing spray.
its so painful you might want the story to end there. but it doesnt. because in moment numero quattro, when the supposed hairspray didn't do anything for my coiffure, i went at it again. the front, the sides, the back. and thats when i saw it. the can came up around the back of my poor waterproofed head and in my ikea mirror i saw that it wasnt gold with a beautiful woman on it. no, it was black with a nineties-style graphic of enlarged water drops.
i thought about jumping in the shower to see what would happen but i had to be to work in 2.3 minutes. we will save that experiment for another day.
2 i found sprite zero. no need to ask where, as it could only be the carrefour that cares for me. the carrefour express up the street from my house likes to pretend it isn't the bomb (or da bomb, if you are reading this out loud) by overcharging me for just about everything except for baguettes. but then it gives me things like sprite zero and i know that it really is da bomb. perhaps it is even dabomb.com.
sorry carrefour express, but you blew your cover. you keep pulling stunts like this sprite zero one and ill pay double price for my corn flakes any day of the week.
1 i waterproofed my hair. not exactly a high point for me. i recently made two purchases, aerosol waterproofing spray and aerosol hairspray. in a moment of high intelligence, i placed them next to each other on my vanity. behind my ikea mirror, where i couldn't see them. in another moment of high intelligence, i reached my hand back to grab the hairspray. and then, in moment number three, i sprayed my whole head with waterproofing spray.
its so painful you might want the story to end there. but it doesnt. because in moment numero quattro, when the supposed hairspray didn't do anything for my coiffure, i went at it again. the front, the sides, the back. and thats when i saw it. the can came up around the back of my poor waterproofed head and in my ikea mirror i saw that it wasnt gold with a beautiful woman on it. no, it was black with a nineties-style graphic of enlarged water drops.
i thought about jumping in the shower to see what would happen but i had to be to work in 2.3 minutes. we will save that experiment for another day.
2 i found sprite zero. no need to ask where, as it could only be the carrefour that cares for me. the carrefour express up the street from my house likes to pretend it isn't the bomb (or da bomb, if you are reading this out loud) by overcharging me for just about everything except for baguettes. but then it gives me things like sprite zero and i know that it really is da bomb. perhaps it is even dabomb.com.
sorry carrefour express, but you blew your cover. you keep pulling stunts like this sprite zero one and ill pay double price for my corn flakes any day of the week.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
lovepeacelent
and stephanie said unto her blog, 40 days remain. and the blog saw this amount of days, that it was good. and the blog said, if jesus can go 40 days and 40 nights without food, you can live 40 days and 40 nights in brussels.
the going without food thing is kind of relevant too, seeing as how im down to two eggs and 1/4 of a tomato for the rest of the day. and its only 5:28 PM. or 17:28 if you are in europe, which i am. i tried to clear out all the food i had so i could go on an overhaul of a grocery shopping trip and get everything fresh and begin anew. i would say i was pretty successful.
so yesterday i braved the dam of amster.
and not only did we experience amsterdam on a saturday aftrnoon. no, we took on the saturday of a certain pride parade down the canal. you know the protesters on the first episode of the first season of arrested development? times that by 20 and add spectators in pink boas. legit.
post-parade all of the "floats" gathered in the canal where loud girl bands, excessive alcohol consumption, and wearing a bra as a shirt were all deemed appropriate.
and look who came back from the dead to support his people... DUMBLEDORE!
we hit up some lunch action at my new favorite place ever, the eclectic and organic gartine. being uncharacteristically courageous, i ordered the potted dutch shrimp with cognac and lemon rolls. could be the cognac speaking but im pretty sure the meal was flawless.
we proceeded to the van gogh museum, the catchy albeit touristy I AMSTERDAM letters, and then homeward bound. was it charming, lovely, and full of character? it was. would i spend the night in a hotel there? i wouldnt. no, not ever.
the going without food thing is kind of relevant too, seeing as how im down to two eggs and 1/4 of a tomato for the rest of the day. and its only 5:28 PM. or 17:28 if you are in europe, which i am. i tried to clear out all the food i had so i could go on an overhaul of a grocery shopping trip and get everything fresh and begin anew. i would say i was pretty successful.
so yesterday i braved the dam of amster.
and not only did we experience amsterdam on a saturday aftrnoon. no, we took on the saturday of a certain pride parade down the canal. you know the protesters on the first episode of the first season of arrested development? times that by 20 and add spectators in pink boas. legit.
post-parade all of the "floats" gathered in the canal where loud girl bands, excessive alcohol consumption, and wearing a bra as a shirt were all deemed appropriate.
and look who came back from the dead to support his people... DUMBLEDORE!
we hit up some lunch action at my new favorite place ever, the eclectic and organic gartine. being uncharacteristically courageous, i ordered the potted dutch shrimp with cognac and lemon rolls. could be the cognac speaking but im pretty sure the meal was flawless.
we proceeded to the van gogh museum, the catchy albeit touristy I AMSTERDAM letters, and then homeward bound. was it charming, lovely, and full of character? it was. would i spend the night in a hotel there? i wouldnt. no, not ever.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
lovepeacefalafel
at home in salt lake (affectionately abbreviated sl,ut), inspiration came from accentuating the bizarre in a seemingly ordinary life in a seemingly ordinary place. so what happens when i move to a really bizarre place, where the people are bizarre and it smells bizarre and on every street corner there is a bazaar?
i typically go against the grain by bringing out the weird from the normal. but to go against the grain here in weirdsville, i would have to bring out the normal. like write an entire blog about a grocery store. oh wait i did that. ive been trying to establish some sense of normality (or normalcy if you're a Warren G. Harding fan, and who isn't?)in this freaky, mixed up place, so my life in comparison has become relatively mundane.
HOWEVER. tonight i stumbled upon something so ultimately bizarre that it cannot go undocumented. so here is the documentation.
to celebrate having made it through hump day, my peeps from work and i decided to make it falafel-fun-fair night. we went to the best falafel maker in town, creatively named mr. falafel, then we had fun, and then we went to the fair. where the following events took place:
first we went on this ride. falafel had been down 7 minutes tops. falafel almost didn't stay down but i got it under control. the ride spins and the people on each end flip accordingly. not the kind of ride you would usually risk your life for at a temporary carnival. but sometimes you just try not to think about it because you have no choice because the man summoning people for the ride is so dang convincing:
not joking. and yes, that is a glittery silver plastic top hat atop his greasy ponytail. it was sure nice of him to keep smiling all the time even though he didn't have any teeth.
so we made it out alive. and shaking and nauseated. but it was totally worth it. as we walked around post-deathtrap, i began to realize that this wasnt your ordinary fair with your ordinary rides. take, for example, jetbob:
wow are those pictures of women in bikinis on a childrens ride? oh no not quite. they are nakey. and one day, kids, if you play your cards right, you too can be like jetbob and ride a jet ski in circles around nakey women. yeah. next came the african jungle ride:
fittingly named, get this, negresco. because what else would you call a safari ride through africa. if you get hungry there are plenty of fresh, and by fresh i mean raw, options:
just a little more proof that brusseleirs know how to party.
i typically go against the grain by bringing out the weird from the normal. but to go against the grain here in weirdsville, i would have to bring out the normal. like write an entire blog about a grocery store. oh wait i did that. ive been trying to establish some sense of normality (or normalcy if you're a Warren G. Harding fan, and who isn't?)in this freaky, mixed up place, so my life in comparison has become relatively mundane.
HOWEVER. tonight i stumbled upon something so ultimately bizarre that it cannot go undocumented. so here is the documentation.
to celebrate having made it through hump day, my peeps from work and i decided to make it falafel-fun-fair night. we went to the best falafel maker in town, creatively named mr. falafel, then we had fun, and then we went to the fair. where the following events took place:
first we went on this ride. falafel had been down 7 minutes tops. falafel almost didn't stay down but i got it under control. the ride spins and the people on each end flip accordingly. not the kind of ride you would usually risk your life for at a temporary carnival. but sometimes you just try not to think about it because you have no choice because the man summoning people for the ride is so dang convincing:
not joking. and yes, that is a glittery silver plastic top hat atop his greasy ponytail. it was sure nice of him to keep smiling all the time even though he didn't have any teeth.
so we made it out alive. and shaking and nauseated. but it was totally worth it. as we walked around post-deathtrap, i began to realize that this wasnt your ordinary fair with your ordinary rides. take, for example, jetbob:
wow are those pictures of women in bikinis on a childrens ride? oh no not quite. they are nakey. and one day, kids, if you play your cards right, you too can be like jetbob and ride a jet ski in circles around nakey women. yeah. next came the african jungle ride:
fittingly named, get this, negresco. because what else would you call a safari ride through africa. if you get hungry there are plenty of fresh, and by fresh i mean raw, options:
just a little more proof that brusseleirs know how to party.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
lovepeacecarrefour
yesterday i hit my 1 month mark for being in brussels. shocking. im pretty sure i have lived here my whole life. i have forgotten the taste of mexican food and i dont know how to drive. baby carrots and 24-hour convenience stores are distant fantasies a brusselier could only dream of. will i ever see the mav again? do costco samples really exist?
in honor of my one month anniversary, i shall now honor brussels with a comprehensive list of things it has going for it:
1 carrefour. without a doubt, 100%, most definitely the thing i will miss most about brussels. its a grocery store. its the grocery store that the other belgian grocery stores want to be. its trademark C brings joy to my heart and exhilarates my soul. you have three options with the carrefour: the carrefour express (a mini), the carrefour gb (your average-sized grocer), and the HYPER carrefour (c4 on steroids).
every time i say the word carrefour i am reminded that carrefour cares for me. it pains me how great of a slogan that would be if anybody here spoke english. the thing i love the most about the c4 is its store brand, intelligibly named "carrefour brand." it is the western family of belgium, only better. when you buy c4 brand, it says to those around you: yeah, i like to save money, but i still shop at c4, so im still really rad. it doesnt have the negative connotation that comes with western family, or wal-marts great value brand, or kroger. no, carrefour thinks it is the shiz, and it is right.
2 baguettes. it doesnt matter where you go, what you do, or what time of the day or night it is. you will see someone carrying a baguette. they are like the plague of locusts, only crustier and tastier and better for the soul, especially the far from home soul who could use a major carb pick me up. not that i would know.
the plague of baguettes has sparked a number of questions in my wondering heart. where are all these people going with all their baguettes? who is going eat all these baguettes? with what will all these people eat all their baguettes? because i dont know if you know this but baguettes actually have a negative shelf life. you have approximately 74 minutes post-purchase before the baguette is an over-sized crouton. my confusion regarding this issue is not being exaggerated here, rather it is understated. im perplexed. so i just play along and buy a baguette and make it a point to carry it with me.
so there it is. my comprehensive list. there are, however, some honorable mentions that i will honorably mention now:
-paying 50 euro cents to use a public restroom, IF you can find one and there is a good chance that you cannot.
-milk that is sold at room temperature in a carton on a shelf. i call it shelf milk. no rush to get home from the c4, your milk is already warm because it is shelf milk.
-speculoos. mix a graham cracker and a ginger snap and make a rectangle-shaped cookie out of it with a hole in the middle. that is a speculoos. its kind of like magic.
im going to wrap it up here because its getting late. but dont worry the sun is still up. and will be for 3 more hours. because it doesnt get dark here. sometimes i feel like im at the north pole. like buddy the elf.
bye buddy, hope you find your dad.
thanks mr. narwhal.
in honor of my one month anniversary, i shall now honor brussels with a comprehensive list of things it has going for it:
1 carrefour. without a doubt, 100%, most definitely the thing i will miss most about brussels. its a grocery store. its the grocery store that the other belgian grocery stores want to be. its trademark C brings joy to my heart and exhilarates my soul. you have three options with the carrefour: the carrefour express (a mini), the carrefour gb (your average-sized grocer), and the HYPER carrefour (c4 on steroids).
every time i say the word carrefour i am reminded that carrefour cares for me. it pains me how great of a slogan that would be if anybody here spoke english. the thing i love the most about the c4 is its store brand, intelligibly named "carrefour brand." it is the western family of belgium, only better. when you buy c4 brand, it says to those around you: yeah, i like to save money, but i still shop at c4, so im still really rad. it doesnt have the negative connotation that comes with western family, or wal-marts great value brand, or kroger. no, carrefour thinks it is the shiz, and it is right.
2 baguettes. it doesnt matter where you go, what you do, or what time of the day or night it is. you will see someone carrying a baguette. they are like the plague of locusts, only crustier and tastier and better for the soul, especially the far from home soul who could use a major carb pick me up. not that i would know.
the plague of baguettes has sparked a number of questions in my wondering heart. where are all these people going with all their baguettes? who is going eat all these baguettes? with what will all these people eat all their baguettes? because i dont know if you know this but baguettes actually have a negative shelf life. you have approximately 74 minutes post-purchase before the baguette is an over-sized crouton. my confusion regarding this issue is not being exaggerated here, rather it is understated. im perplexed. so i just play along and buy a baguette and make it a point to carry it with me.
so there it is. my comprehensive list. there are, however, some honorable mentions that i will honorably mention now:
-paying 50 euro cents to use a public restroom, IF you can find one and there is a good chance that you cannot.
-milk that is sold at room temperature in a carton on a shelf. i call it shelf milk. no rush to get home from the c4, your milk is already warm because it is shelf milk.
-speculoos. mix a graham cracker and a ginger snap and make a rectangle-shaped cookie out of it with a hole in the middle. that is a speculoos. its kind of like magic.
im going to wrap it up here because its getting late. but dont worry the sun is still up. and will be for 3 more hours. because it doesnt get dark here. sometimes i feel like im at the north pole. like buddy the elf.
bye buddy, hope you find your dad.
thanks mr. narwhal.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
lovepeacepeace
so there was this one blog that i wrote one time and it got me into a little hot water (by hot i mean boiling. or scalding. yep definitely scalding.) with the enemy camp. so as im a proponent of peace and i wear a peace ring and i make a peace sign in pictures and the word peace is in the url of my blog, im makin peace and takin it off. im clearin the air. cleanin the slate. washin the dirty laundry. givin a peace offering.
consider this my cornucopia, laden with festive vegetables and those little dried out red and black corn kernels that you dont really eat you just sprinkle them like confetti on the table at thanksgiving. or a fruit basket. or a fruitcake. (it was dying to be said.)
i would also like to make the world a better place by showing this clip to everyone i know. it has changed my life.
peace be unto you. go ye now in peace. peace out, gangstas.
consider this my cornucopia, laden with festive vegetables and those little dried out red and black corn kernels that you dont really eat you just sprinkle them like confetti on the table at thanksgiving. or a fruit basket. or a fruitcake. (it was dying to be said.)
i would also like to make the world a better place by showing this clip to everyone i know. it has changed my life.
peace be unto you. go ye now in peace. peace out, gangstas.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
lovepeacebeingemotional
im not a super emotional person. ok that was an understatement. i have a heart of stone. stone cold like limestone. like granite. like edward cullen's skin. my heart is vampire skin.
i once went over 5 months without crying. not one single solitary tear, not of happiness nor of sadness. i submitted myself to a grey's anatomy marathon to try and evoke a weep. couldn't happen. whilst an amiga of mine bragged about how she cried herself to sleep every night, woke up still crying, and continued to cry all day long (she didn't need to tell me- i was present and aware. oh boy was i aware.), i carried on with my desert eyes and edward-skin heart. needless to say, im not a weeper.
that is, until recently. lately i can't keep a tear in my eye to save my life. i watch grey's, i cry like a small child. mother's day, i weep tenderly. it was all i could do to not bawl in the theater during the trailer for my sister's keeper. (watch this and tell me if you can't keep from crying... then i'll tell you who has a heart of vampire skin.)
upon careful analysis, i have come up with three possible options for my emotional state:
1 after never, i mean never ever never, having been away from my parents for more than 10 days (and even then i was only in provo), i am preparing to leave the country for who knows how long. i may never return or see my family ever again.
2 i recently graduated from college and am being thrown haphazardly, like an infant from the top of a tall building, into the real world where i have to be a grown up.
3 izzy stevens has stage 4 metastatic melanoma with metastasises to the liver, brain, and skin, and has a 5% chance of survival. last week after she married karev, she lost all of her hair.
it does not take a rocket scientist nor a brain surgeon to conclude that 3 is the most obvious and only option that is even remotely plausible as the cause for my ever-swelling heart and leaky eyes. dear izzy stevens, please dont die.
i once went over 5 months without crying. not one single solitary tear, not of happiness nor of sadness. i submitted myself to a grey's anatomy marathon to try and evoke a weep. couldn't happen. whilst an amiga of mine bragged about how she cried herself to sleep every night, woke up still crying, and continued to cry all day long (she didn't need to tell me- i was present and aware. oh boy was i aware.), i carried on with my desert eyes and edward-skin heart. needless to say, im not a weeper.
that is, until recently. lately i can't keep a tear in my eye to save my life. i watch grey's, i cry like a small child. mother's day, i weep tenderly. it was all i could do to not bawl in the theater during the trailer for my sister's keeper. (watch this and tell me if you can't keep from crying... then i'll tell you who has a heart of vampire skin.)
upon careful analysis, i have come up with three possible options for my emotional state:
1 after never, i mean never ever never, having been away from my parents for more than 10 days (and even then i was only in provo), i am preparing to leave the country for who knows how long. i may never return or see my family ever again.
2 i recently graduated from college and am being thrown haphazardly, like an infant from the top of a tall building, into the real world where i have to be a grown up.
3 izzy stevens has stage 4 metastatic melanoma with metastasises to the liver, brain, and skin, and has a 5% chance of survival. last week after she married karev, she lost all of her hair.
it does not take a rocket scientist nor a brain surgeon to conclude that 3 is the most obvious and only option that is even remotely plausible as the cause for my ever-swelling heart and leaky eyes. dear izzy stevens, please dont die.
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