Friday, December 24, 2010


this is my gift to you:


Monday, November 22, 2010


thanksgiving weekend this year was overshadowed by what unexpectedly became fleece weekend. it began late thanksgiving eve when claudia shook up the evening by gifting me with the teal fleece jacket from american eagle.

the one that i saw and then told everyone in my life about. the one that i tried on and haley said: its cute, eddie bauer would be jealous. yep, this one:

all i had to do was just show up at claudias house and she just gave it to me. i dont mean to speculate but maybe im her favorite?

fleece fest continued thanksgiving morning when old navy opened its doors to us for gobblepalooza. old navys term, not mine. despite the lame name, we made our trip to old navy a top priority. i was in search of one specific item in one specific color and one specific size.

apparently not everybody makes a thanksgiving morning trip to old navy a top priority, so i actually had little to no trouble getting my item. my fleece. my micro performance fleece quarter-zip mock neck pullover. in a neon melon shade.

i wore it all weekend. i wore it out on black friday. i wore it to the gym. i wore it over my sweatshirt and under my coat. because in utah if you dont have a sweatshirt and a fleece and a coat you might as well be naked.

then, like all good things, fleece weekend came to an end. i put on my appropriate sweater and hopped on my delayed flight back to my mesa. where you can actually forgo the sweatshirt, fleece, and coat and just walk around naked. maybe i do, maybe i dont.

also, this happened to me. as if on cue, my manager at gap today said: nice bag, is that marc? (referring to marc jacobs. you know, marc jacobs.)

i wanted to bow at her feet in an act of thanksgiving but i did not. so the bag still sucks but at least it passes for designer.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


i dont typically give in to peer pressure. except for the time that i let claudia talk me into buying a black purse from the gap and then i hated it for 3 weeks until someone asked me if it was coach and now i like it. kind of.

but that was the exception because, like claudia says, i march to the beat of my own drum.

that being said, i shall now succumb and give in to peer pressure yet again. because the pressure from my peers to pick up my blogging pen is great and any more pressure may crack my skull, which i frown upon.

so im bloggin and i hope it is pleasing unto you. here goes:

one day i decided that i wanted a little bit more cacti in my life. saguaros, in particular. so i called up my home girl holly and i said holly should i move to mesa and she said yes and then i did.

but not before making the necessary preparations. namely, buying a subaru:

and metallic silver birks:

and dancing like an indian at dennys wigwam in kanab:

so im officially an az res. well, not officially. my license plates still say utah and i cant claim residency for another 9 months, but my zip code is 85201, my skin is flaking off, and i experience regular dehydration, so thats a start.

oh and i dont want to brag but it is warm where i live. if you live in utah and your fingers have a bluish-grey tint or you get bloody noses then you can visit me. i have a queen size bed.

also, next time you see me with my black purse please tell me that it is cute.

Friday, May 7, 2010


soooooooo its my birthday. indeed i am sipping bacardi like its my birthday. to celebrate another year of wisdom, good looks, and odd habits, i have decided to look back at the year that was 21. so here she goes, this year in photos:

may: celebrated the 21st by trekking to the moabs. it was the phase when i thought my hair should be one inch long. we now know otherwise. thankfully.

june: spent some days in the big apple before heading to...

...the big waffle. they dont really call belgium the big waffle.

july: this looks like an iphoto background but it is actually the eiffel tower. in paris. because i went there on a train. it was the phase where i went to other countries on trains. much better than the hair phase.

just my feet on the...

...which actually hasnt fallen down.

august: the diet coke phase...

the shopping phase...

and the explorer phase. (my feet and i were very much lost when this photo was taken.) im still waiting for all three phases to end but i kind of hope they dont. there are some, however, that have ended and i think maybe we are all grateful.

the phase where i used the same water bottle for 3 months.

the phase where i refused to cut my nails.

and the phase where i ate disco biscuits.

september: returned to the mother land...

where i laid my two most noble pairs of sandals to rest. til we meet again, dear friends.

october: had a fest and carved a pumpkin like haleys face.

november: spent thanksgiving morning at the wal marts. pretty sure its going to be a new tradition.

december: melted a votive candle all over my dresser and partied it up with eva.

january: hit the floridas for some much needed vitamin d.

ethel and willard know that the more skin you expose, the more vitamin d you get.

february: things started to slow down so i kept it exciting by eating some expired chips...

followed by some expired rice cakes. i guess you could say i live on the wild side.

march: chose one skill to focus on for the month and it was gas pumping. id say overall it was pretty successful.

april: easter brought snow and blue lips...

followed by phoenix, where the sun actually shines.

so here we are, back at may. heres to 22. the oldest age i have ever been so far. my goals for this age are nothing out of the ordinary, just self-actualization, translation into heaven, and maybe a movie based on my life. in that order. we can check back next year and see how it went. cheers.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


you may or may not but definitely should be aware that my birthday is coming up in approximately 5 days. birthdays always shoot me for a loop and give me some unwelcome and paralyzing perspective. this is the account of such perspective:

today i was at my favorite place within my favorite place, which is the tcby within the mall. i went because they now have soft serve butter pecan frozen yogurt. not the point.

the point is that the man helping me was 40 and working at tcby. when i ordered the butter pecan he asked if i had had it before and i said no and he said it is totally so good. and i smiled and in my head i said oh man that guy likes his job way too much. and the fear struck.

what if i like MY job too much? so i dont leave? ever? granted 40 is not 21 and tcby is not the gap, but fear does not listen to reason.

i know that it was only recently that i carried on about my bright but partially undecided future so if you want to stop reading now (traitor) i will (not) forgive you.

i identified the problem with my future fears (fears about the future, not fears i expect to have at a later date) and this is the problem: unrealistic comparisons.

exhibit a: bob at tcby.

exhibit b: a friend of a friend just bought a house and she is 27 and i practically revere her for it. then came the fear. i felt behind because i dont have a house. then haley told me that 21 isnt 27. valid point.

exhibit c: amanda seyfried is 24 and she has a dog and she takes him on walks all over the city and i know this because us weekly always sees them out on walks and takes pictures. and so the fear strikes. if she can have a dog then i can have a dog, notwithstanding the fact that she is a (beautiful and talented and also my favorite) movie star and can afford to live in an apartment where dogs are allowed or she could buy herself a palace.

oh no she could buy herself a palace. and cue the fear. i should save my money so i can buy me and my dog a palace when i am 24.

or i could not save my money and instead invest in some retail therapy to overcome (or temporarily block out) my fears. which is the one i choose because this currently resides at banana and i cant wait to own it.

umm also are you aware that catalog is the preferred spelling over catalogue in america? blogspot tried to inform me that catalogue isnt a word. but that is false.

Monday, April 5, 2010


this evening i was feeling indulgent so i went to the library, where you can indulge and indulge and walk out of there with as much stuff as you want for free. i wont read 6 books or listen to an 8 cd set of american history made fun in the next 3 weeks, i can guarantee it. no big deal, it was all free.

but it wasnt enough for me.

so i headed over to barnes & noble, where you can get the same things as at the library but you have to pay for them. i succeeded in talking myself out of the giant book of iq tests, the mini notebook that says keep calm and carry on, and even the 8,892 things you can do to bring good karma. which i will probably go back for.

i was less successful, however, in resisting the magazine aisle. put lc (lauren conrad, if you havent watched reality tv in the last 5 years) on the cover of glamour and i will buy it. tell me this months people contains the most recent style watch and i will buy it. apparently you can get a flatter belly in days, not weeks, and it is so much easier than you thought. and im about to know how because i bought it.

and the worst part is that the magazines dont just cost me 8 dollars. no, because jennifer aniston is about to show me how to get her look with 479 guilt-free finds.

479! and they are guilt free! so i can, and will, buy them. and i wont feel guilt. except that i probably will feel guilt. i already feel guilt for spending 8 dollars on magazines. but when guilt went up against jennifer aniston, it didnt even stand a chance because she is super hot.

spending money on magazines that tell you to spend more money on things you dont need isnt all negative though. on the bright side, im about to know the 25 times im irresistible to him and dont even know it. glamour is offering me 10 tricks for sexy hair while people is offering me another 20, so ill have a total of 30 tricks. plus there is an outrage because of the 12,000 unsolved rapes but it is ok because one brave young woman is on a crusade for answers.

so i continue to fan the flame, to fuel the fire, to feed the fuego of mindless consumerism with my highly flammable magazine pages. because with omg so many freebies to win, who can afford not to?

also if you are a lazy girl looking for a guide to healthier eating, i will let you borrow my rip-out shopping list.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


today haley said, "did you know that in afghanistan the average life expectancy is 42? that means you would be 21 and think, oh i am half-way through my life."

so i said, "that means i would be having my mid-life crisis right now..."

oh wait. i am.

one time i went to college and got a degree and then i didnt know what to do. so i decided it was a good time to sit myself down and re-evaluate what it want to do when i grow up, which is kind of like now.

this is what i came up with.

i am smart so i should be a doctor. but i like dressing up so i dont want to wear scrubs and i dont really like blood or intestines and when people talk about passing out i pass out. so maybe that one is a no.

i like talking so maybe i should be a teacher. but i dont like kids very much (or at all) and i want to make money so that is a no.

i like clothes so maybe i should work in fashion. but then i watched devil wears prada and meryl intimidated me to tears through the t v screen. so maybe im not bad-a enough so that would be a no.

i like food so... oh ha ha no i dont really like food. but i do like cereal so maybe i could work in a cereal factory. hairnet. nope.

i like gap so maybe i could work at gap! yayayyayyyaaayyyyayyaayyy!

so gap takes this round. which is convenient because i already work there. besides, who doesnt want a discount on this?

or this?

oh i do.


yesterday on my break i went to bath and body works. i went to buy a candle and it is in front of the candle wall that i stood when i was suddenly ambushed by the flamboyant male employee who tried enthusiastically to convince me that island margarita was the best one of them all.

i said, you think so? and he goes, i dont think so, i KNOW so. it just is. my whole house smells like it and it is FABULOUS. (insert hand flick).

ok i dont really remember if he said fabulous but i think he did. so i bought it.

but you know what happens when you buy something at BBW? they always have some kind of coupon and they say, go pick out something else and it will be free. my most pressing need was shower gel so i made the rounds, smelling all of the smells and trying to choose one and that is when i found it.

butterfly flower. that is the real name of it. i felt guilty for liking it since it is called butterfly flower and since i am over the age of thirteen, but sometimes things like this just happen and we never know why.

so i bought it. well, they gave it to me free. so now i smell like this

and i want to wear one of these

and i want to be this lady

because she is having a good time and i bet she smells like a butterfly flower.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


the winter has made me weak and feeble like unto a wimpy child and i was thinking that i am not hardcore enough so in preparation for summer i have decided to become more hardcore. every day im trying to do a brave thing that will make me more hardcore. so far i have done these brave things:

1 yesterday i told the people who got on the treadmill next to me that it was broken. (it was, in fact, broken. i wasnt just saying that.)

if you think telling someone a treadmill is broken isnt scary then please keep that to yourself because i kind of do. it would be much easier to let them figure it out on their own and watch them as they push buttons like a FOOL and finally walk away.

but today i was their champion and saved them from the depths of foolery.

the women thanked me for my kindness and found themselves an elliptical. the men didnt believe me and continued to push every button on the machine until they finally concluded that it was broken (im not exaggerating, every single man did that).

2 two days ago i parked in visitor parking at byu. hay says this shouldnt be scary since i am, in fact, a visitor but because my car still has byu parking stickers in the window i look like a fraud. the man sitting at the toll booth gives me the stink eye before he hands me my visitor pass every time. the stink eye would normally be enough to deter me from parking there but not anymore. not now that i am hardcore.

3 and now for the grand finale. tonight i went out to a social event. a barbecue, if you will. for someone who loves people i sure do shirk at the idea of social events. of all the scarier things in life, this is the scariest.

but tonight i was the bravest and i faced the scariest.

i put on my denim motorcycle jacket and i faced the barbecue in all of its social glory. and i was the VICTOR! the victor as in the combatant who is able to defeat rivals, not the victor like the name.

like alice in wonderland, i have slain the jabberwocky. and if you havent seen alice in wonderland you should go see it today or tonight, do not delay.

and thus progresses my goal of becoming an hcxba (hardcore to the max bad-a). next on the list: face my debit card history for the month of february. retail therapy works wonders for the winter blues, not so much for my savings.

...also i just want to throw this in there: if i felt inclined to talk about my feet on my blog, i would tell you that brave thing number 4 was popping my own blisters after my 10-miler which is usually a job i save for claudia. but that is nast so im not going to say anything.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


i dont know if anybody noticed, but i took a brief blogging hiatus. no reason, just decided to mix it up a little. but like a runner misses his toenails, i have missed the blog.

so i came back!

seems logical that i give a quick recap, just to let you know what you've missed in the world of me for the last 74 days. so recap. here it is:

1. stopped working at my real job because of the carpal tunnel.

love the company
love the people
hate the carpal tunnel.

2. started, well re-started, working at my FAVORITE JOB EVER.


if you could wed a store, i would wed the GAP. my love for the GAP fills my heart all the way up to my throat or even half-way up my throat. they have to make me go home when my shift is over. i beg haley to give me her shifts. i mean i REALLY love this job. so thats cool.

2.5 as a direct result of my new job, my wardrobe has improved significantly. i wish i could say the same for my checking account.

i now own this

and this

this too

oh and this dress

i could go on but i wont.

3. picked up running.

i remember that i like running and dislike what running does to my feet. my toenails are pretty mad at me so they arent sticking around for long.

4. slammed my finger in a car door.

actually that happened in november during a rant about carpal tunnel, after which i went into shock, after which the nail turned electric blue, after which the nail turned black, and on sunday the nail fell off. so i painted my thumb pink so that if you look only briefly i can trick you into thinking i have a thumbnail. freaky? yep.

my nails and i used to be such good friends
but things have really taken a turn for the worse.

5. began honing my domestic skills.

one time i baked muffins from scratch and one time i cooked salmon in a frying pan. i hang my pants on the clothesline and sometimes i swiffer the kitchen floor. i have even been a hostess a couple times. call me dolly madison because i practically am.

6. moved in with hales.

it is the best thing ever. we watch movies and go to the wal-marts. we learn the words to we didnt start the fire. we even have girl talk sometimes. just ask and i will invite you over to mingle with us and i might even bake you a muffin because i have become quite domestic.

those are the 6 most important things that have happened in the last 74 days. stay tuned, i think things are about to get exciting.

p.s. remember god? he just came over to our table to chat. he's married now. oh man.