you may or may not but definitely should be aware that my birthday is coming up in approximately 5 days. birthdays always shoot me for a loop and give me some unwelcome and paralyzing perspective. this is the account of such perspective:
today i was at my favorite place within my favorite place, which is the tcby within the mall. i went because they now have soft serve butter pecan frozen yogurt. not the point.
the point is that the man helping me was 40 and working at tcby. when i ordered the butter pecan he asked if i had had it before and i said no and he said it is totally so good. and i smiled and in my head i said oh man that guy likes his job way too much. and the fear struck.
what if i like MY job too much? so i dont leave? ever? granted 40 is not 21 and tcby is not the gap, but fear does not listen to reason.
i know that it was only recently that i carried on about my bright but partially undecided future so if you want to stop reading now (traitor) i will (not) forgive you.
i identified the problem with my future fears (fears about the future, not fears i expect to have at a later date) and this is the problem: unrealistic comparisons.
exhibit a: bob at tcby.
exhibit b: a friend of a friend just bought a house and she is 27 and i practically revere her for it. then came the fear. i felt behind because i dont have a house. then haley told me that 21 isnt 27. valid point.
exhibit c: amanda seyfried is 24 and she has a dog and she takes him on walks all over the city and i know this because us weekly always sees them out on walks and takes pictures. and so the fear strikes. if she can have a dog then i can have a dog, notwithstanding the fact that she is a (beautiful and talented and also my favorite) movie star and can afford to live in an apartment where dogs are allowed or she could buy herself a palace.
oh no she could buy herself a palace. and cue the fear. i should save my money so i can buy me and my dog a palace when i am 24.
or i could not save my money and instead invest in some retail therapy to overcome (or temporarily block out) my fears. which is the one i choose because this currently resides at banana and i cant wait to own it.
umm also are you aware that catalog is the preferred spelling over catalogue in america? blogspot tried to inform me that catalogue isnt a word. but that is false.