Wednesday, May 5, 2010


you may or may not but definitely should be aware that my birthday is coming up in approximately 5 days. birthdays always shoot me for a loop and give me some unwelcome and paralyzing perspective. this is the account of such perspective:

today i was at my favorite place within my favorite place, which is the tcby within the mall. i went because they now have soft serve butter pecan frozen yogurt. not the point.

the point is that the man helping me was 40 and working at tcby. when i ordered the butter pecan he asked if i had had it before and i said no and he said it is totally so good. and i smiled and in my head i said oh man that guy likes his job way too much. and the fear struck.

what if i like MY job too much? so i dont leave? ever? granted 40 is not 21 and tcby is not the gap, but fear does not listen to reason.

i know that it was only recently that i carried on about my bright but partially undecided future so if you want to stop reading now (traitor) i will (not) forgive you.

i identified the problem with my future fears (fears about the future, not fears i expect to have at a later date) and this is the problem: unrealistic comparisons.

exhibit a: bob at tcby.

exhibit b: a friend of a friend just bought a house and she is 27 and i practically revere her for it. then came the fear. i felt behind because i dont have a house. then haley told me that 21 isnt 27. valid point.

exhibit c: amanda seyfried is 24 and she has a dog and she takes him on walks all over the city and i know this because us weekly always sees them out on walks and takes pictures. and so the fear strikes. if she can have a dog then i can have a dog, notwithstanding the fact that she is a (beautiful and talented and also my favorite) movie star and can afford to live in an apartment where dogs are allowed or she could buy herself a palace.

oh no she could buy herself a palace. and cue the fear. i should save my money so i can buy me and my dog a palace when i am 24.

or i could not save my money and instead invest in some retail therapy to overcome (or temporarily block out) my fears. which is the one i choose because this currently resides at banana and i cant wait to own it.

umm also are you aware that catalog is the preferred spelling over catalogue in america? blogspot tried to inform me that catalogue isnt a word. but that is false.

1 comment:

  1. Did you change your mind on the bag? I think you should get both items with your new shiny credit card. That's what credit cards are for, right? Charge! Charge! CHARGE! But seriously, don't do it. That's really bad advice.