Friday, November 20, 2009


this one is for the 70-year-old lady in metallic fuchsia stretchy pants on the elliptical at 5:30 this morning.

first of all, thanks for being you. you are the best.

second of all, i just have some questions for you if you dont mind.

1 from whence have they come, those metallic stretchy pants? those leggings the color of a raspberry that collided with the north star?

if we were referring to the crayola box of 120 crayons, we could call your pants razzle dazzle rose or jazzberry jam, those fabulous pants.

2 at what point did you decide those were gym pants? im glad you did, dont get me wrong. i am glad that you did.

3 for what reason did you and your pants need to make your appearance at 5:30 in the am?

you must be at least 70, maybe pushing 80. do you have so much going on in your life that you must awake at 5 to put on those razzle dazzle jazzy pants and hit the gym by 5:30?

do you have some sort of stretchy pant convention to go to?
can i come? i would like some razzle dazzle pants too please.
and i would like mine to be metallic mermaid teal please.
the color of a mermaid who swallowed the titanic necklace please.

thank you for being there today, razzly dazzly stretchy lady. we have been inspired, truly.

also, the word of the day is billingsgate, meaning foul or abusive language. the word billingsgate sounds an awful lot like bill gates, which is why everybody should have a mac. point proven.


  1. you are the funniest and i want some pretty sparkle pants too please

  2. Steph! Pretty much, I just fell in love with your blog! I read your first post and was hooked.... in other words, I had to read the following 20 or so posts as well. I love it! I'll definitely continue to read :)
    love kelsey
    (your former down-the-street neighbor!)

  3. she was probably blind and has no idea that she accidentally grabbed her secret sparkly pants.